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TV, Movies, Video Games, Geek Culture, News, Opinions, Rants, & Raves
Illustration for article titled Someone Wants a Disney Theme Park in Tulsa, But They Arent Trying Very Hard

I almost feel bad about shitting all over this project. Almost.

Look, I love Disney World. I've been 4 or 5 times in my lifetime. I've never been to Disneyland, but I'd like to. In fact, I have ambitious plans to visit the Disneyland parks in Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Paris, as well. My wife and I are very serious about taking a Disney cruise in the next few years. So if anyone should be excited about the idea of a Disney theme park near my home here in Tulsa, it should be me.

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The problem, first of all, is that it isn't very realistic. It's not entirely without precedent; there have been rumors about Disney scouting property near Branson, Missouri and here in Oklahoma for years. The Branson rumors are far more believable, since that's already a resort town, but who knows? I'm not even the least bit familiar with corporate finance, but it doesn't make a lot of fiscal sense to me to build a third theme park in the United States. The other two parks are doing just fine; building a third would just draw visitors away from the other two parks and thin out profit margins all the way around.

But let's forget logic here. The reason I'm even bothering to post about this is because I'm amused at how amateur the effort is. Just look at that logo at the top of this post. That's the real logo these people are using for their campaign. I'm no Photoshop expert, but something tells me that last part may have been altered.

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Seriously, though, we're talking about attracting the attention of a multi-billion dollar corporation — one of the largest on the planet. So what's the plan of attack for the Disney Dream?

Flash mobs.

That's it. Just flash mobs.

That's how I found out about the whole thing. I regularly check the TV/Film/Video/Radio Jobs section on Craigslist to find work that isn't completely soul-crushing (no such luck, by the way). For months now I've been seeing ads for the Disney Dream popping up there:

Illustration for article titled Someone Wants a Disney Theme Park in Tulsa, But They Arent Trying Very Hard
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Here's the text, if you don't care to open that screenshot:

be in a flash mob (41st and riverside park)

Every Saturday in April at 5pm meetat 41st and riverside park. we are learning the dance. wear or bring something Disney so we can find each other fast. see at the tables.

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Sigh. Is anyone running to join these guys based on that ad? It doesn't even mention that the goal is to attract attention in support of a new theme park. Just "be in a flash mob." This particular ad doesn't even have a link to their Facebook page (although some in the past have done so). And don't forget the poor grammar.

Now, I can't completely discount the idea of flash mobs. We've all seen the various YouTube flash mob videos that have gone viral in the past few years, even showing up on national television. I'm sure that's what attracted the Disney Dream organizers to the idea in the first place. But, for one thing, I'm pretty sure that fad is all but over. You've got to put on one helluva show to attract that kind of viral attention these days. But most importantly, you've gotta have a mob. As in, a LOT of people. Here's a YouTube video of the last practice session for the Disney Dream team (from March 25th):

That's three people. THREE. Gotta do better than that, guys.

I dunno; maybe I'm just a cynical asshole. No, I know I'm a cynical asshole. I'm just amused by the whole thing.

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Honestly, though? I wish them luck. I'd be first in line if they did build a Disney park here...I just know that they aren't.


For more dream-destroying, follow me on Twitter @barryerice.

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